


i'm the moon that pulls, the tides that take the sand

by acrobatics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M, lots of death and blood mentions sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrobatics/pseuds/acrobatics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there's a primitive sort of thing in each one of us. it defines us, even we cannot define it. </p><p> kageyama has been spit at by the universe, all that he cared about being torn from his fragile hands, striking him with a force stronger than lightning, making him an elite among the elite, but detaching him from everyone, rendering him useless.</p><p> hinata was taught at a young age that memories are useless, they will only drown you in a sea of self pity. he still can't decide if it's more wrong or right. he hides his anger and detachment behind a kind smile and steel-toed boots. as a soldier, it has helped him survive even as the world falls victim to demons out of story books. he's new to the Jaeger Program.</p><p>a decision is made, and it could mean the survival or demise of earth.</p><p> it's all quite the paradox.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm the moon that pulls, the tides that take the sand

**Author's Note:**

> shit shit shit was that bad am i as bad at descriptions as i think i am 
> 
> i am extremely passionate about pacific rim and haikyuu!! so bam 
> 
> unbeta'd because i'm a loser and i have no friends
> 
> the title is from atomic man by Portugal. the man
> 
> i really hope you guys enjoy the first chapter :)))

 

 nightmares weren't uncommon for kageyama. in his short 17 years, he had felt more pain than he deserved. no matter how tough he looked, he was still a child, developing and fragile underneath the tough exterior he had worked so hard for for so many years. the people around him saw him as emotionless, that he was so numb to all of the war that he felt no pain. that couldn't be less true. he knew pain, he knew the sharp, aching sensation that he felt in his heart and in his bones. it reverberated in his mind, it was stuck there as if someone had branded it into his subconsciousness. the nightmares came in some sort of extremity, stuck in the desert, or a soul drifting without a body throughout a marshland full of no one. the night before his partner arrived was no exception to the nightmares.

 

 he was standing in ash, the sky as red as blood. the plain he was on was endless in any direction, the sky held no mercy, it was just the violent color of death. he stood there, still. he humored himself, the plain was probably identical to his mind. blank and as limited as it was unrestricted. 

_are you going to accept death?_

 the voices were back. 

 he has never accepted death. trapped, confined, drowning in a sea of blood, he has never stopped fighting. voices screaming at him, hands grabbing at his feet, dying souls. he has never given up. blood spatters of the innocent, roars of the enemy, dismembered limbs. he has never stopped struggling. he has always been strong enough to swim against the current.

 or has he just been swimming away from the current?

 his dream self is lost in the voices warping around him. he never understood them, never talked about them. they appeared to him in his worst moments, when his body was numb from exhaustion and his legs about to give out. when it's obvious that he is not fit for the task, when he has failed. when he relives his memories as a child, and the last few blurs that he knows as his parents and everyone he had ever loved. he feels a drop against the back of his neck, almost ticklish. it feels like rain. rain is peaceful, full of life and promise and words he could never quite find. it was as unrelenting and powerful as it was the reason for the only kind of life he knew. he wiped at the back of his neck, expecting the coolness of a water droplet. it was warm and thicker than water, maybe even a little sticky. he looked at his hand, and he feel to his knees. it was  _blood._ he wiped his hands on his body, anywhere, everywhere. he needed to get it off of him. it was almost as if it was burning him through his subconscious and onto his physical being.

  _who's blood was it?_ he didn't want to think about it. he had seen pools of his comrades blood, like puddles after a storm. there was nothing glorious in death, there was nothing gained. that was what he had learned through death and fighting an enemy who didn't care about you or anyone else; an enemy that wanted death and there was not a cost too great. he felt his breathing, fast and his heart racing. he felt more droplets on his back, quickening. he dug his nails into the ash, still facing the ground.

 there was no way to escape. there was no clever trick he could pull, there was no shield to protect him from his worst nightmare. he was all alone. he was trapped in his own mind.

 he looked up into the endless sky, squinting. blood runs down his face, barely missing his eyes. the gray ash around his feet had turned as dark as it could. it was the battlefield that was in every soldier's nightmare. his hands trembled, he shut his eyes as tight as possible. he could feel it, it was so vivid. he could feel it on his back, soaking his shirt. the ash, under his fingernails and the fear. he can't remember a more hellish dream. he looks back down at his feet, drowning in blood. he wants to run, but he knows that it would go on and on until he faded into reality. he tries to take a step forward, but he cannot move his feet. the more he tries to move, the more his foot seems to sink. he starts to scream, knowing no one could ever possibly hear him.

_it is a dream, after all._

   _or is it?_

reality has always been a difficult concept for kageyama to understand. _what separates my dreams from what i see here?_ is the last thing he thinks before he opens his eyes, his body in a cold sweat.

 he wipes his eyes before looking at the built in clock on the wall. 4:22. it was about time for him to wake up anyway. he's a little shaky on his feet, but he stands up and turns on his light. he's had his own bunker for months now, but instead of personalizing it or talking to someone, anyone, he lays on his bed, memorizing the bolts on the ceiling or working out if he hasn't been called out for duty. the room won't just be his anymore. he's not sure if he likes that fact or not. he doesn't even know his partner's name. it could also be a her, too. or someone who's non-binary. he's cool with pretty much anyone.

 and by "cool", he means that he doesn't care who they are or what they do, he still won't talk to them on his own. it's just a _thing._ it's not in his personality to initiate anything. the woman who raised him would always ruffle his hair lovingly and say something about how cute it is that he's so shy. the thing is, he wasn't shy. he was never shy. he wasn't very polite by nature either, it was very much forced into his character. he just didn't like to talk. it didn't matter who initiated the conversation or why, it just wasn't very likely for him to respond.

 he didn't know why. words just didn't bubble up to his lips like others, he saw that it was easier to just nod or to silently disagree when necessary. there is nothing poetic behind the stony expression he wears, there are only bare thoughts and the raw emotion that swirls throughout his mind.

 he gets out of of his bunk, grabbing his uniform and towel on his way to the showers. he's not sure if he's late or extremely early, because there isn't anyone else in the showers when he steps onto the stone floor. he waits for a second in the shower to see if the water's going to run hot or not, until he gives up on waiting and takes a ice cold shower. he washes himself, he feels the deep scar on the back of his neck for a moment before going back to lather his short black hair. he didn't want to remember how he got the scar, no matter how dull and senseless the memories appear. he's got plenty more scars that he can regret later. 

 when he's finished, he turns off the water and dries himself sufficiently before wrapping the towel around his waist. he changes into his uniform before anyone else steps into the locker room. it's all very silent, lacking a sense of human error in all of the movement and noise. 

 he walks past the bunkers and into the lunch hall, which is technically also the breakfast hall at the moment. breakfasts are prepared to keep you fed until dinner, not to be appetizing. the gray lump on his plate didn't have an official name as a type of food, but it was full of protein and things needed for the body to function at high capacity. he poked it with his fork for a moment before taking a bite from it. he was always so reluctant to eat something lie this, but since the recent budget cuts in the military, for some odd reason, there was no other purpose to the food other than to fill his stomach.

 the man who served lunch was always cheerful, even with bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep everyone in the compound suffered. kageyama respected that, and he was always sure to flash the man a small smile, although it might not mean much to him. the sound of footsteps came from outside the hall's door. a group of men walked in, talking about the new possible jaeger pilots. kageyama tenses up, even though he isn't mentioned by name. it's barely occurred to him how big a deal being a candidate is.

 half of the world's gone up in flames and the human population is .3% of what it was before the kaiju rose above the waters in the Pacific. conventional weapons don't work against kaiju, and it took almost the utter obliteration of four major coastal cities for the world to realize that. there is only one attack method that works sufficiently against the kaiju, jaegers. jaegers are strong and there's something about seeing one in person that makes it obvious that it isn't _just_ _a robot._ there are living, breathing humans in a jaeger, minds working in sync for the best of mankind. it's almost a little poetic in kageyama's eyes.

 he mindlessly gets up and returns his gray plastic tray to the metal bin where the trays are stored to be washed. the lunch hall is hectic and full of curses and low laughter, it was something he would like to see more often. he thinks back to his new partner. he's feels like he needs to go back into the room to fix a few things, possibly move around his few belongings. he needs to get along with his partner, more than anything.  _there's nowhere else to go,_ he thinks while walking back to his room.

 he reaches his bunker's door, and the thought of how heavy the door is crosses his mind for a moment. well, of course it is. the walls, ceilings, and everything else in the compound was made to be missile proof. including to people inside. he turns the combination lock, expecting to face a cold, almost bare room.

 what he does not expect is a short redhead, on his tippy-toes pinning up a poster of Sailor Moon. but that is exactly what he gets.

///

 hinata has always been the wild card, the one that sticks out the most in any group. he wasn't sure why. sometimes he thought it was his hair, or maybe he just has some sort of presence. but people always end up staring at him, whether he's on the subway or buying food. it didn't exactly make him uncomfortable, perhaps just a little more aware. 

 but the way his new drift partner looked at him made him uncomfortable on a few different levels. he was the exact opposite from hinata, even from just a glance. he was tall, hinata was, unfortunately, stuck at a dreadful height of 165 cm. he had hair the color of midnight, and hinata's was the same hue as a sunrise in late winter. he had a scowl on his face, hinata knew that kind of scowl. it was a permanent expression on one's face.

 hinata flashed him the brightest smile he could manage, and hopped down from his new bunk.

 standing at level ground with him, he towered over hinata (most people did, but they didn't seem to cast a dark shadow while doing it). his right ear was pierced, and he can practically hear his older sister telling him to stay away from boys like this.

  _they leave you with moons under your eyes and questions aimed at yourself and the world. they come into your life like the wind, beautiful and inevitable. but they are the wind, a conflict at heart, lovingly caressing you until the storm starts to rage._

he had thought that natsu had been a little dramatic, with the whole staring off into the distance and suddenly plunging a knife into the cutting board. but now, with a little experience, all he could answer with was a _hell fucking yeah you were right damn it you're always right._ guys like that fucked people up, with waxing poetic and shit like that.

"i'm kageyama." his roommate, now with a name, doesn't hold out his hand.  _why did he introduce himself with just his last name?_

 hinata almost forgot he was there for a moment. "i'm your drift partner, hinata." he smiles again, and holds out his hand just for good measure.

 he keeps looking at kageyama for a few moments afterwards until he realizes  _the papers._

"oh! the major would like to see both of us, you know,  _at our convenience._ " he quotes the major from earlier when he had stepped out of the black van, about to slip and fall onto his ass.

 "i suppose now wouldn't be too soon, would it?" it was the second thing hinata had heard come out of his mouth. his voice was strong, like it could will an army to wage war.

"of course not." he picks up the papers and opens the door, slipping out of it right before kageyama does.

 the walk to the major's office was silent and awkward. hinata looked in front of him, following kageyama's lead. the hallways in the shatterdome were long and complex, you couldn't pinpoint where one sector started and where another ended. but kageyama seemed to know where everything was. it took him a while to memorize things, especially where things were. it would be a nightmare trying to remember where everything was.

 kageyama stops in the third hall they've walked into at the largest door. he turns the large metal handle to the door, and walks into the room inside. the major is sitting at a long desk at the edge of the room, writing something down on some document.

 he looks up. "ah! hinata and kageyama, i've been expecting you two." he gets up from his desk, and stands parallel to kageyama, towering over even him. hinata moves to hand him the filled out papers, but the major puts his hand up.

"no need, hinata. i've already gotten a copy in the records." the major suddenly furrows his eyebrow and looks directly at kageyama. it's a look that should have made anyone flinch, he he stood there, looking directly back.

"kageyama, you are dismissed," he waves him off, and turns his attention to hinata. "hinata, you stay for another moment."

"yessir." kageyama and hinata said in unison.

 after kageyama had gone out the door, the major once again turns his attention to him.

"i apologize that you've been matched with him." the major looks genuinely pitying.

"excuse me, sir?" kageyama doesn't seem all that bad, at least not bad enough for a superior officer to insult him behind his back. 

 he walks back to the desk, and picks up a manila folder, labeled "candidate x". it sounded like something out of one of those old action movies his mother used to tell him about. he almost laughed when the major handed it to him. and then he almost panics. 

"i suppose you may want to look through his file before you agree to anything further." hinata looks back at him, eyes wide.

"yessir."

"you are dismissed." hinata almost trips over his own feet trying to get out of there.

 he walks halfway to his room before stopping in the middle of the hallway. he opened the folder, and skimmed through the papers.

  ** _tobio kageyama._**

_age: 17._

_joined: 2 years, 6 months._

_occupation: standard soldier, jaeger pilot candidate._

_record:_

  * _unable to drift with any partners, causes high frequencies to be set off in partner's minds._



  * _violent tendancies. (2) attempted assaults._



 

  * _cannot follow organized instruction properly._



 hinata read through the list. he seemed like a normal teenage boy, in this day and age. if you put one in the military, that is. he flipped to the next page, and what he saw almost made him drop the folder.

  _what kind of a monster am i partnered with?_

  

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> cliffhanger yo
> 
> i'm pretty sure that pacific rim aus are supposed to be written by good writers but i'm really trying my very best !! :)
> 
> pacific rim is extremely important to be and so is haikyuu!! so it just really all worked out quite nicely. my tumblr is ghoulm but my url is ghoulm.tumblr.com so if you wanna talk to me, i'm always there!!! (don't worry if you think you're not cool or anything because i'm sure you are and i'm not that cool either oops)


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